WHAT IS "SHADOW WORK"?
A man who is unconscious of himself acts in a blind, instinctive way ~ Carl Jung
Most of us tend to like it when we do things well, win, feel confident, assured, or loved. We enjoy reflecting on these experiences and positive interpersonal exchanges. Psychologists often call these experiences egosyntonic; they fit in with our self-image. However, other experiences that are not quite so positive in nature which reveals our less than urbane qualities or inferiorities are more egodystonic; they do not fit with what we like to experience as "me".
These disowned propensities often get banished to the dark side. They sleep safely in the unconscious, untouched- seemingly gone- sometimes for months or even years- until triggered- - and then they constellate, as if awakened from a long nap. These unknown energies appear, the shadow is untamed but well kept, and because we do not know this part of ourselves, we are utterly powerless. When the shadow energy takes over we act in ways our "normal" egosyntonic self would never allow.
But note these two things about the Shadow. One, Shadows always appear behind a great light. You simply cannot have the light without the darkness, the good without the bad, the night without the day. It is the nature of our very creation, the polarity of opposites. And two, Shadows often appear when we are afraid. Specifically, when we fear we won't get something we think we need or will lose something we already have (e.g., a relationship, job, finances, approval, health, status...) which we believe we "need". The Shadow awakens.
True Shadow energy, thinking, and behavior feel somewhat uncontainable, even uncontrollable. When your behavior feels out of control, but strangely familiar, or historical in nature or you experience true powerlessness to act any other way at that moment - you know you have hit Shadow material.
After a Shadow episode, hiding at home under your covers only works for so long, then you have to get up and face the day. And truly, everyone does this at some point, everyone acts in ways they wish they hadn't. Perfect thinking, deed and action is not a reasonable expectation or goal, nor is it sustainable, or life-giving. Jungian Analyst, Marion Woodman, explained the deadliness of perfection in her book Addiction to Perfection, paraphrasing her words, "perfection is cold, sterile and lifeless; it is for statues, immovable and dead". The Shadow is imperfect, unknown, but very alive. We are alive, I am alive. To be alive is to be imperfect, light, dark, and ever-changing.
If you've recently had a visit from your shadow, don't be ashamed, be delighted. Dialogue with, get to know, and welcome your dark visitor. Carl Jung said, "Know Thyself", and Shakespeare, "to thine own self be true". Your shadow is a friend, a doorway to Thine own self. The Shadow is rich with clues pointing to deeper Self-knowledge. It is not something to get rid of. The shadow holds your fears, your darkness, and your light because it is part of you. To Know Thyself is to be open to all that exists within you now, before, after, above, and below. All pieces and parts make up the beautiful whole of the Self, none are denied or abandoned. Each is welcomed, heard, embraced, and finally loved. All are valued, as divinely "I", not just the polished parts. Relating to and thus Integrating your shadow side in this way is paramount to the Jungian process of Individuation; becoming a whole person, embracing the unique "I am" that you are.
When the shadow reveals herself, remember not to judge or beat yourself up. Instead remind yourself that the Shadow's energies never feel comfortable, but they are always providing information - always giving us an opportunity to learn more about our selves, our histories, legacies, depths... Shadows always show up to foster more growth, more consciousness.
In his Collected Works, Carl Jung says about the Shadow:
Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it...But if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected.
In "Good and Evil in Analytical Psychology" (1959). In CW 10. Civilization in Transition. P.872, Jung says:
To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light. Once one has experienced a few times what it is like to stand judgingly between the opposites, one begins to understand what is meant by the self. Anyone who perceives his shadow and his light simultaneously sees himself from two sides and thus gets in the middle.
